Tarzan loses Cheetah

Aaaah-ih-aaah-ih-ah-ah aaaaaaaah!  RIP Cheetah, chimp aged 80. Probably the one who starred with Johnny Weismuller, but may've lied about his age.

Foxing Day

This was from Boxing Day, record number out with the hounds. God speed Master Fox.

Stewart's Sloe Gin

First Sloe Gin. Picked in Hunmanby, pricked in Huddersfield.

Walking on the Air

Walking on The Air, 1982

Walking on the Air 2012

Channel 4 are filming a remake of Raymond Brigg's animation, "The Snowman". I can't see why.

Christmas TV

Nowt on TV again

Alan Hansen's Punditry

Match of the Day gaffes as Alan adds his two penn'orth re Luis Suarez's FA punishment

Breast Isn't Best

40,000 British women affected by dodgy breast implants, which are poisonous

Scunthorpe and the Golden Age of Canals

TV Profanity checker goes nuts, bleeping out inoffensive names of TV shows.

Farewell, Dear Leader

North Korea bids farewell to Kim Jong-Il. He leaves  2,5000 tonnes of chemical weapons, 1 million dead  famine victims, about 8 nuclear missiles and 10,000 bottles of wine.

Wayne Again

Sports Personality/Transplant of the Year

Beach Boys Reunion

Remaining Beach "Boys" announce reunion

Teeny Weeny Charlotte Bronte

Charlotte Bronte's teeny weeny book fetched a tidy sum at auction. Not bad for a  14 year old.

Poetry Society Scaffold

The Scaffold's Roger "Lily the Pink" McGough is appointed President of the Poetry Society

The Boob

Thousands of women affected by poisonous breast implants

Frozen Planet Panda Audition

BBC's rather wonderful Frozen Planet is accused of cheating  by filming  baby polar bears in a Dutch zoo

The Emperor's Last (Hat) Stand

Monarch of the Glen, The Emperor, Monster Stag of Exmoor, reappears in Tiverton Hotel lobby

Heston Blumenthal's Christmas Pudding Rip-off

 Crouching Vulture, Hidden Orange

Rule Brittania

David Cameron Casts Adrift From Europe

Trouble at t' Windmill

150 miles an hour's worth of wind and not a watt to show for it.

They're so disappointingly flimsy, can't work when it's windy and self destruct. Come on Mr Dyson, invent one that works!

Wind Power

Wind speed hit 150 mph in Scotland 

Edinburgh Panda Tattoo

Tian Tian ("sweetie") and her male companion Yang Guang ("sunshine") 

shack up at Edinburgh Zoo .

This one's for Mark, Carol & Scott. Lone piper by the Packhorse Centre today, but no pandas.

Pandas

Daybreak is axed

Kent Mudflats

Trouble at the Isle of Grain Mudflats, Kent, wanted for new East London Airport runway

(عالم سمسم) Sesame Street Goes to Kabul

Good Luck to Grover, Grouch & Big Bird as they prepare to hit TV screens in Afghanistan

Jeremy Clarkson's Mouth

The Empire Strikes Back

National Day of Strike action

Old Mother Hubbard

George Osborne's Autumn Statement

Choked

Britain's oldest Green charity, Enviromental  Protection UK, set up in 1898, is to close down

There's a Starman Waiting In The Sky

Cashing in on Bowie- Heroes Musical given go-ahead by Alladin Sane

The Whole Shabang: Book Launch in Slaithwaite

Crumpets & tea from a Henry V111 Teapot, saxaphone serenade featuring Mekons bass guitar, bunting made of toast and the company of some amazing families at Shabang Theatre's book launch this afternoon in Slaithwaite. Thankyou Kim & Russ. Superb!

Tiger Feet

"That's N.E.E.T, that's neet, that's neet, that's neet, really love your Tiger Feet". Apologies to Mud. 18-24 year olds Not in Education, Employment or training hit half a million. Tiger Feet Clegg has announced some funds, probably coming from freezing tax credits.

Prison Break In

Thieves broke into HMP Kirkham in Lancashire, escaping with £8000's worth of tobacco

Manamana: Return of the Muppets

Manamana, Doo-doo-dooo-dooo-doo. Mildewy, Motheaten and a bit Mouldy, they're back on TV. Soon.

TUC's YMCA Moment

The TUC has finally found its vocation....as a record producer. They hope The Workers' cover version of Canned Heat's "Let's Work Together" will make it to number 1 by strike day on November 30th. Their YMCA-style lineup includes a fireman, an engineer, a midwife, a physiotherapist and a probation officer.

Cockahoop!

Poultry Club Annual Show. Mr & Mrs Proctor's prize-winning bantam.



Goodbye Dolly

Farewell to Basil Oliveira, unassuming South African "coloured" determined to play cricket despite Apartheid . In 1960 he came to England to play for Middleton Cricket Club, playing  in the Lancashire League. My Mum lived near the ground and saw him play. Selected   for England v South Africa, he caused a political storm. The tour was cancelled and England didn't play South Africa again until 1994, in the post Apartheid era.

Pet Insurance Fraudsters

Fraudulent claims for poorly or diseased pets on the up

World's Fastest Toilet

Congratulations to Edd China on his record breaking 68 kmh toilet run. Technically, it's a motorised toilet with sidecar bath and sink handlebars, but as Robin is watching some washed up 80s singer's saddo gig (Thomas Dolby), and I've got Naths to collect from cadets, needs must..

American Gothic Pizza

With apologies to Grant Wood (1891-1942). American Congress bows to pressure

and reclassifies pizza as a vegetable.

Harrier Jump Jets

US Marines grab 74 bargain basement Harrier Jump Jets from the RAF

Olympic Missiles

Athletes, they've got you covered

Mama Mia, it's Super Mario!

Silvio out, Mario Monti in.

Lord Melchett's Moustache

Stephen Fry is to recreate a Monstrous Movember Melchett Moustache, as featured in Blackadder. Bravo!

Greek Dancehall with Papademos & Pliers

Lucas Papademos is sworn in as Greek PM by orthodox priest

11.11.11

On the 11th minute, of the 11th hour, of the 11th day....hang on a minute, I did this a day early so that's probably cheating. And it was probably about five-and -twenty- past five...

Berlusconi's Breaker Ball Jacuzzi

Berlusconi announces he'll quit as Italy's troubles mount. See "The Italian Job" blog for 23.1.11.

Poppy Attack

FIFA allow England football players to wear their poppies for the friendly with Spain.

(Drawn on the back of my pension envelope, hence poor quality and small size)