Sunday, 30 September 2012

Saturday, 29 September 2012

Persistent Vegetable State

Good news though for fans of ugly, lumpy, mis-shapen veg. We'll be seeing more of them in supermarkets after the wet summer affects harvests. (Apart from the EEC-exempt Stewart Courgette Mountain)

Friday, 28 September 2012

Go Forth Coastguard (apologies to Jo & Petunia, PIF, 1968)

The Forth Coastguard station closes after more than a century watching the seas, victim of Government cuts. To see the wonderful Jo & Petunia, Public Information Film superstars,

Thursday, 27 September 2012

Wallace's Beetlemania

 The forgotten man of evolution, Alfred Russel Wallace gets some recognition at last. Insects, birds and  mammals named after Wallace include Calodema wallacei (Wallace's Jewel Beetle): Also see a great site :

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Cock-A-Hoop Coop

Plans for a neo-classical hen coop have been submitted to The Forset of Dean Council by Mr Crispin Odey, Hedge Fund Manager.....

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

The Fastest Milkcart In The West

Dairy farmers who blockaded Dairy Crest are celebrating a victory of sorts as they will now pay 29p a litre for milk. This calls for an innuendo-laden Benny Hill Song.....

The A1

Wild, Wet and Windy...stretches of the A1 disappeared underwater today..

Monday, 24 September 2012

Skinny Dipping

Eeek! 100 people celebrated the Autumn Equinox in Northumberland by dipping in the North Sea

Imelda's Termite Heels

Termites attack Imelda Marcos's 1,200 pairs of shoes, kept for posterity in a Manila Museum

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Michael Gove's High Security Cello

  Music lesson integrity threatened by Core Curriculum. (In celebration of Toby and his Euphonium.)

Champagne and a Deep Fried Mars Bar?

Some Scots wag has applied to the EU for "Protected Designation of Origin" for the Deep Fried Mars Bar.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Keats Got Wasted

"..My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk,
Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains..."
New book out says Keats wrote his Odes whilst high on laudanum. Well what a cockadoodle shock...

Great British Buzz Off

The Government is to investigate the role of pesticides in the falling population of UK Bees...

Wednesday, 19 September 2012


See earlier bog, I mean blog

Lost in Texas

"If found, please return to ..." a desert in Texas is being searched for a radioactive rod, which dropped off the back of a lorry.....

Greggs Pasties

Greggs has landed a contract to supply British Armed forces with pies (without VAT)

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Skidmore & Richard The Third

Chris Skidmore MP calls for a State funeral for the skeleton in the Leicester car park which is thought to be Richard the Third. Hunchbacked and with an arrow in the back of the skull, the remains have gone off for DNA testing.

Shrinking Ice

Arctic Ice melts to its smallest ever proportion since records began. (When did they?)

Peter's Monster Cabbage

Giant Veg Grower Peter Glazebrook triumphs again with a whopping 81lb 6oz cabbage at Harrogate Autumn Flower Show

Friday, 14 September 2012

Brand New Monkey Magic

New monkey species discovered in the Congo. The Lesula looks set to go straight onto the endangered species list...

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Murray Mints

 Andy Murray triumphs at the  US Open...meanwhile, the  Aberdeenshire chippy which invented the deep fried Mars Bar receives a solicitor's letter from the confectioners complaining that it is conflicting with their health message by selling the celebrated items..

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Putin Pussy Riot Stork

Putin puts Pussy Riot to the back of his mind and heads off to fly with the storks

Hunmanby Gap

Here we are swimming in the North Sea. It took half an hour for the feeling to come back into my finger ends....