Monday, 31 January 2011

Alelujah! Rags to Riches!

The Salvation Army attacked- over rag trade millionaire. Profits from a nationwide network of 4,500 textile recycling banks creamed off.

Herberts Chapman's Bust Rocks On Its Plinth

Valiant Town succumb to penalty as Arsenal go through in Emirates thriller. Gutted!

Walk Like an Egyptian

Cairo (al) fresco, 2011

Friday, 28 January 2011

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

100s of Spanish babies reported stolen from clinics. (For the uninitiated, the song goes; "Where's yer momma gone? ..Little baby boy....Far, far away.....woke up this morning and my mama was gone, ooh-wi, Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep....")

Thursday, 27 January 2011

The Descent of Man on Talk Radio

Richard Keys finally gets the sack. Meanwhile, "Lino" Sian Massey gets delegated to referee Corby Town v Eastwood Town in the Conference for her impeccable interpretation of the offside rule.

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Sky Top Trumps- Wanna Swap Andy Gray?

Sad to say, I've got 2 packs of Top Trumps featuring Mr Andy Gray. And Charlie George. Back in the Stone Age, when there were certainly no women linos. At least Mr Gray has ensured record numbers of women enquiring to the FA about how to become a referee....

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

"...Wee slicket, cowering, timorous Beastie..."

Burn's Night tribute to Palestinian peace negotiators after revelations leaked to al-Jazeera TV. Happy Birthday Dad!

Monday, 24 January 2011

Bang! There goes my Chinese lantern...

Civil Aviation Authority and Farmer's Union join forces to urge ban on Chinese lanterns....

Sunday, 23 January 2011

The Italian Job

After pleadings from the Pope, Berlosconi  agrees to the old doctrine, "when in Rome, do the Romans do..."

Saturday, 22 January 2011

Andy Coulson's Cold Call

Well, skills like phone tapping could come in useful when you're looking for a new line of work.....

Friday, 21 January 2011

Undercover Officers

After all, that's what we pay them for, nice to know  Undercover Officers are out working hard to protect democracy.

Thursday, 20 January 2011

Breaker Ball Bonus Jacuzzi

In the City, Goldman Sachs announce £10 Million bonus pool whilst Future Jobs Fund is scrapped

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight...

At least business is booming for someone- pirates had a record year, with attacks on the Seven Seas up 445 worldwide. That's a 10% increase on last year.

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Return of Baby Doc

Former dictator Baby Doc returns to earthquake zone Haiti

Hip Hop Hiccup

NHS Trusts in Manchester announce a list of 70+ operations they can't afford to perform........

Saturday, 15 January 2011

In your satin tights, fighting for your rights......

In your satin tights, fighting for your rights
And the old red, white & blue...
Now the world is ready for you
And the power you possess
Make a hawk a dove
Stop the war with love
Make a liar tell the truth
All out hopes are pinned on you
And the wonder that you do
Stop the bullet, hold
Make the axis fold
Change their minds
And change the world!

Purple Heart


Sarah Palin's Crosshairs Competition results: Purple Heart awarded to Mr Robin Stewart for his effort above; Runners Up: The Reverend Jug & Mrs Patricia Stewart. Thank you for your entries. The panel was very impressed!

Friday, 14 January 2011

Monday, 10 January 2011

Sunday, 9 January 2011

Friday, 7 January 2011

Tuna

53 stone Japanese Blue Fin Tuna nets £250,000 in Tokyo Auction. Blue Fin are an endangered species...

Tax on the Witch! Broomsticks at the ready!

6.1.11 Angry Romanian Witches  gather on the banks of the Danube to cast spell on Traian Basescu & his government in protest at "Cauldron Tax" on their earnings..

Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Great Scott!

Kirsty & Phil check out charactersome property in the countryside to suit DIY enthusiast.

New Pub Glasses

A third of a pint "Schooner" glass to be introduced....

Monday, 3 January 2011

Not So Fast Mrs Goggins!

E.C. directive could jeopardise  plans to sell off the Post Office. Luckily Postman Pat buys into Big Society...

Sunday, 2 January 2011

New Year's Dump

Today's cartoon, upon the unexpected delights to be found on a countryside walk, out in the fresh air....

Saturday, 1 January 2011

1.1.11: New Year's Day

 Riot at Ford Open Prison- some buildings burnt to the ground, but no injuries according to the BBC News. Fatal hot air balloon crash leaves 2 dead as it comes to grief on a bowling green in Midsomer Norton..