William Hague & Angelina Jolie

 

Unlikely pairings. In search of a punchline....
"You won't be here in 30 years time" (thanks Robin)


Locomotion

 

Beeching Cut reversed in Dorset,  after Swanage Railway won a £1.47 million Government grant to re-introduce a regular train service from Swanage and Corfe Castle... 

Battle of Towton, Palm Sunday 1461

The Battle of Towton was the bloodiest ever fought on British soil, about 20,000 dead. Fought in a snowstorm on a windswept field during the Wars of the Roses.... See: Blood Red Roses: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAQoIeYAHPg

Nelson's Coat

 Horatio Nelson's "Trafalgar Coat", the uniform he was wearing when he was fatally wounded, has gone on dispay in a Paris museum. Worn in the great battle in 1805, there's a  shot hole in the right shoulder from the French sniper's musket ball.......

 



Charlton Heston

Jim Carrey lampoons the late Charlton Heston with his scratch band featuring Abraham Lincoln on bass, Ghandi on shakers and John Lennon on guitar...

See: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0433b30576/cold-dead-hand-with-jim-carrey

Superstar Sheep

The endearing story of Nick Boing,  22 stone pet sheep from Rhiwbina, Cardiff, who lived in his own bungalow in the garden, wiling away the hours watching TV and riding around in his owner's hatchback. RIP Nick Boing, superstar sheep.

Wot No Pooh Sticks?

Oh No! World Pooh Sticks Championship snowed off.

Arborary Lane

 

South Crosland cross roads shut. Snow drifted to the wall tops down to Meltham, car deep

Nopper Road

High Plains Drifters, South Crosland (To the wall top, van deep. Some may even be buried)

Archbishop

 

New Archbishop of CanterburyJustin Welby.

Old Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas A Becket.

Aphrodite

 

Apologies to Botticelli. Will Cyprus bail out of the Euro?

Merry Easter

Over a foot of snow and 4 foot drifts in South Crosland. So canoeing's off today....

Scratch & Sniff

 

Scratch cards get a new lease of life as cannabis scented cards

are distributed in an attempt to locate neighbourhood cannabis farms...

Odd Socks

 

Happy World Down Syndrome Day

Small Beer

 

Only here for the beer. 1p off beer in budget.

Pope on a Penguin

 

Christina Kirchner (Argentina's Prime Minister) asks new Pope Francis to sort out the Falklands for her....

Innuendo

 

Farewell Frank Thornton, AKA Captain Peacock of "Are You Being Served". Insert Innuendo here:

Personal Trainer

 

Let your feet do the talking. Motivational training shoes under development max your workout. No doubt with a very annoying voice....ideas for voiceovers?

Is The Pope Catholic?

 

Smoke spotted...but wait, isn't that my toast again

Beijing Smog

 

Chinese Web Police not amused by pictures of our Dear Leader in an anti-pollution mask appearing online in the Smog Season

Every Now and Then I Fall Apart

 

Good news Eurovision fans. First Englebert Humperdinck and now Bonnie Tyler!

Dedicated to Fay 'n' Phil 'n' all Eurovision fans. Only 69 days to go. See: http://eurovisioncountdown.com/

Midnight In Moscow

 

RIP Kenny Ball, Jazzman

See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn8Os8nig74 to check out the Kenny in action and some 70s tashes

You're Fired

 

Alan Sugar got a taste of his own medicine, after being fired by Channel 5.

 Here he is appearing as our Guy on November 5th 2010

Oh....and he's currently being sued by one of his "apprentices" for "constructive dismissal".

Adios Hugo Chavez

 

Farewell to Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela from 1999, who died on March 5th

Seventeenth Century Feminist

 

A  missing portrait of Ann Clifford, born in 1590 in Skipton, turned up in the Netherlands. Ann fought for equal land rights with men. Her victory meant her inheritance was recognised. Sadly it didn't help lots of other women with no inheritances who just got thrown into the Work House...

Cowabunga!

Remember Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo and Raphael? Then you didn't work at Walpole Adventure Playground in 1990. Every self respecting 8 year old was into The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! However, real turtles aren't faring so well, with The Indo Chinese Box turtle and Roti Island Snake-necked turtle amongst the latest in danger of extinction.....

Spot The Ball

 

Tuesday night football in the fog. Both Town goals wre invisible. Did Alan Lee score with his

 a) headband b)knee c) elbow?

Wigglywoo

Thousands of dried caterpillars weighing in at 100 lb seized at Gatwick. Passenger en route from Burkina Faso said they were "to eat". Yum!

Trojan Bus

 

West Yorkshire Police Road Test their "Trojan Bus", a double decker full of rozzers disguised as passengers. Coming soon to a bus stop near you. Probably there'll be two at once....